Friday, August 14, 2009

Slugs, Oh The Terror!

Busy, busy, busy!
I've been working some overtime this week since I'll be starting my senior year of college in a week and will have limited availability. It's times like these that I wish I hadn't lived the life of early 20's fuckery (aka partying myself sick and opting to skip class since I was still drunk at 9 a.m.) and would have already attained my PhD by now. I blame it entirely on the delicious burn of tequila which I hadn't encountered the first time until my freshmen year of college during my first stint away from home. I was a statistic and it's placed a huge bruise on my ego.
Of course, I have a ton of great memories. Nights of alcohol and hormone fueled debauchery that have produced numerous funny pictures and even more funny memories. I made friends at that point that I still count on for good times, tasty drinks and maintaining my youthful demeanor. If only I had been capable of juggling the two I would have had the best of both worlds.
Instead, I'm now in the awkward position of being a "non-traditional" student in her late 20's playing catchup with her education amongst a bunch of sickeningly refreshing group of fresh faced 19 year olds. Thankfully, time hasn't been tough on this mug of mine so I don't stand out like a sore thumb (perhaps I pickled/preserved myself in those early days with all that tequila?)
The weekend is nigh!
Before I go and get ready to work my 13 hour shift I thought I would leave you with a truefuckingstory of last weekend when I went to visit a friend of mine. It might very well be one of those "you had to be there" stories that's going to leave you sitting there scratching your head and wondering why in the heck I decided to chronicle it via this blog. If so, suck it! I thought it was hilarious! And it's my blog, so *insert sticking out of the tongue here*...
Last Saturday I decided to drive to Richmond, KY to visit an old college friend of mine for dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant so I go get my tacos de carne asada fix. Since it's THE best restaurant in Richmond, she concurs. While we're partaking of some fantastic salsa and taking in the red and green decor, giant chile peppers hanging from the ceiling and numerous sombrero's that serve as decor, our always sporadic conversation somehow lands on the un-appetizing topic of slugs.
I HATE slugs. I wish they would ALL die terrible, salty deaths. I don't care how "essential they are for the eco system" they're creepy, they're slimy, they leave weird slimy trails and make it so that I'm scared to walk barefoot in the grass at night. EWWW! I have flashes from a movie that I saw in the early 90's during my impressionable youth that has warped me for life titled "Slugs" that only confirms my terror. In it, mutant slugs crave human flesh. The tagline for this gem of an 80's horror flick is "They ooze. They slime. They Kill".

Nuff said.
Needless to say I was anxious to change our dinner conversation to something that didn't make my skin crawl in terror and my stomach clinch in sickness. Of course, my friend decides to continue musing about the eating habits of those creatures that I shall not name, which produced a question that made me laugh loud enough to cause confused (aroused?) glances from the waiters.
I'm sitting, trying to ignore her and focus on anything but the topic of her conversation when she says, while totally sober...
"I wonder what slugs eat. Don't they suck blood or something?"
Maybe she saw the same movie I did?
I'm getting her a special helmet hat produced just to emphasize her level of special.

And I'm spent....

Now playing: Hollywood Undead - Undead
via FoxyTunes

Now playing: KoRn - Dead Bodies Everywhere
via FoxyTunes


  1. That is so funny. Wish I could have been there.

  2. Clearly your friend is confusing slugs with leeches. Or vampires.

    I am just a few weeks away from completing the mature student bit myself so if I can offer one bit of advice - plan ahead and don't leave everything to the last minute like I have!

  3. Ha. That reminds me of my rather strange youngest niece, who, at around the age of two or three, used to look for slugs and pick them up. I was cringing back in horror, but she was delighted with them, saying ‘Soft!’ as the slimy creatures crawled over her hands.

    She seems to have grown up normally since then, thankfully. But I still have photographs to prove it.

  4. Yes, I concur with mysterg, your friend was obviously thinking of leeches. Still used by some societies I believe.

  5. Courtney-It was a good time, for sure.

    mys-Yeah, I'm quite certain she was confusing slugs with leeches. Both are despicable creatures. As for school, I've been quite the eager beaver (unlike the first go around) this go around. I limit the tequila to the occassional weekend. *=-P

    Simon-AHHH! I have never seen anyone pick up a slug! I bet you could sell those photo's to National Geographic since she's such a rare breed. *=-)

    Ten-Ahh leeches. I'll never understand why blood letting was such a popular practice in the days of yore. It was the Gingko Biloba of the days of yore.

  6. Good luck with school! You'll do great I have no doubt...something about the second go around (or 3rd in my case) to make you study ;)

  7. Urgh! I'm so with you on the slug hating ... I went out to get something from the car one night with no shoes on, seconds later I stepped on something squishy :/ tbh I thought I'd stepped in poop (which was horrific enough) but it was even worse when I realised it was a big ol' slug. Just thinking back on it still makes me cringe :( bleurgh!

  8. Oh Critty- there are lots if 'mature students'. I'm 24 and starting all over with a completely different major. I tend to find that the 19 year-olds think that I'm like 20-21 and the other mature students think I'm like close to 30. go figure.

  9. Hmmm... I got to have me some tequila :) And I'm a mature student too and they all (the other students) think I'm one of them. Immature much?

  10. The grossest moment of my life is probably watching my sister step on a slug... BAREFOOT.

    It was definitely the grossest moment of hers.

  11. Don't feel old Critty, I am considering going back to school at the ripe old age of 31. Unfortunately I drank myself out of college once upon time, but regardless of the mischief, I would have dropped out anyway, just too immature.

  12. I need to go back to school, but it would help if I could decide what I really want to be when I grow up.

    As for slugs, they never really bothered me until we moved to Florida. The eternal mantra now is "Don't eat the brown Twinkies". Yes, the first time I saw one of the brown striped slugs that are one of MANY varieties of mutant slugs here, I thought it was a chipmunk.


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