Some Nights

"We are moons, we throw ourselves around each other We are oceans, being controlled by the pull of another..." As the night comes, my thoughts stop racing and I have time to actually think. I appreciate the quiet, the stillness, the calm. Being alone with your own thoughts can be a daunting task and looking inward is often life changing...sometimes for the good, sometimes not so much. However, I believe in confronting life head on, thus being the captain that steers my fate in the direction best suited for it. On nights where my heart is heavy and full with old hurts, I let myself feel it just as I would let myself rejoice in life's pleasant experiences. I express it, either with tears or a few strokes of my paintbrush. I cook lavish meals for no one. I listen to Adele and Mumford and Sons and sing/sob along with it. I call close friends and rage about old and new injustices simultaneously tying them together in my grief...and in being my friend they listen without judgement and throw in a few "fuck that!"'s for good measure because they love me. This is the best reason to use profanity, because you love someone. It's a hug through a phone line when real hugs can't be given. Coping is now a skill rather than an instinct in this age. Our society has bred its masses to suppress any excessive feeling. When we are happy, we should smile but never shout. When we are sad, we should cry but not sob. Rocking the boat will result in a dreaded label...shit stirrer, psycho, unstable...you get my drift. The number of individuals with anxiety disorders continues to rise because they are terrified of not living up to expectation, never realizing they aren't living. I have crossed oceans of progress to be where I am...and I still have miles to go. Again, I am thankful for quiet nights and reflection. I am proud of myself for being brave and letting my mind wander. I rejoice in my ability to act a fool in good and bad times. I hope to do so my whole life and provide an example for those that spend entirely too much time worrying what other people think. This is my life, and while people may join me for the ride and live with me, they can never live it for me. Hold on kiddies, the ride isn't an easy one, and I have no planned destination, but I'll be damned if the journey isn't fun.

Sentimental Fools

Friendship IXX by Khalil Gibran


And a youth said, "Speak to us of Friendship."

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

I found this beautiful and wanted to share it. I am thankful for the many friendships, strong and true, that I have earned in my lifetime.

Monday's Are Not The Devil After All

Stop the presses, baton down the hatches, I just participated in something unnatural that I just had to share via this blog.
Are you ready?
Just take a minute to prepare yourself.


I had a good Monday.!!!! I know, it seems like quite an oxymoron but it's true! After my absolutely tragic Friday and a mediocre Saturday followed by a mind numbingly pathetic Sunday spent cleaning, Monday came in just in time to salvage my three day weekend. Don't ya' just love surprises like that?
I finally got some things finished around the house that I've been putting off...well, since we moved in last May. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction now when I walk by our office and see that my old HP desktop has been placed in a nice retirement home (aka closet) and that wiring of the television, X-Box, DVD player, and cable box are now tactfully concealed (why don't we have wireless everything by now anyway?!)
My sister is in Lexington for business and I finally got to show her where I hang my hat (or would be if I had been wearing a hat today). Normally, my husband and I are quite nomadic. Even before our nuptials I moved regularly, every year just like clockwork. My sister hadn't seen my living quarters in over 3 years. She lives in TN, pretty close to Gatlinburg so it's a pretty decent drive for her to head this far "north" (still makes me laugh when she calls me a yankee) especially with a 3 year old and a 11 month old so it's usually just easier for me (who is childless unless you count the four-legged variety) to just visit her. It was strange seeing her without the kids, as I love them like a fat kid loves cake, but it was also nice to get qt time with my lil sis. We went out to eat and laughed about things I hadn't thought of in a long time. It's so rejuvenating to be around people who have known you, good and bad, your entire life. Here' s a picture of sis eating (I'm sure she'd love to know I posted this for all to see.)














Over the weekend I had a really bad experience at Wal-Mart trying to return a set of Phillips Magnavox laptop speakers I had bought a couple of weeks ago that stopped working properly after one day. The customer service associate might as well have been taking my mugshot and accusing me of grand larsony, so "immense" was her customer servicing abilities (please tell me you picked up on the sarcasm!?). So I didn't have my receipt, I know from personal experience (i.e. five years of working for the company) that Wal-Mart will take anything just short of used diapers and that heffer was telling me there was no way they could take back 2 week old speakers? I call bullshit. The didn't even check the box, or my ID. I left feeling frustrated and irritated.
Tonight I took the speakers to a Wal-Mart on the other side of town and had a gift card with the balance of the speakers on it after about 2 seconds. The only question I was asked was if they worked or not (not) and then, click, clack, thank you very much. This was the power of my mysteriously good Monday.
After dropping my exhausted sister back off at her hotel, Dan and I went to watch "The Hangover". What an incredibly funny movie! I'm not one to watch and tell so you'll just have to believe me when I say it's well worth the movie admission.
Now my night is wrapping up with a little DWF (doggie wrestling federation) between Emma (the siberian husky) and Buddy (the minature cattle dog). What better way to go to sleep than with a smile from four legged shenanigans? Oh sweet Monday, thou was kind to me today.